Sickness is raging through humanity right now.  Plagues and Pandemics have shaped humans again and again. What used to be thought of as “Spirits” or “Demons”, now we know they are microscopic sized physical beings who “infect” us.  They are the one predator that can still easily kill us.

However we humans are predators as well. Predators are not necessarily “Evil”, (we certainly can be!), they/we do what we do. While some beings might say humans are evil, most humans would not generally agree. Humans say “we are doing what we need to survive and flourish.”  It is time to remember that a virus like “Covid-19” is not evil, yet it is some kind of being. It might even have moods and cravings like humans do. As an Animist, I would say that it might even be our teacher. We are now in an initiation. No way around it, only through it.

What if you have 6 months to live?!

When I was 26 years old, a few months after I had the life changing experience that started the path I am now on, I had a dream. In this dream I found out that I had contracted HIV. I was told I had 6 months to live. It was very clear that I was to quickly decide what I wanted that 6 months to be. When I woke up I knew clearly the things that absolutely needed to change in my life.  The changes I made in those months altered my path and I am still living out those changes.

Sickness as Teacher

In 2014 I was diagnosed with a Liposarcoma (cancer) in my right leg. The tumor was huge. The fear was real. I thought it would kill me. Me facing my own death again caused many changes. My own body asked me clearly to stop doubting myself, and start honoring myself in ways I had resisted before. It asked me to find and heal old soul wounds that contributed to my mental and emotional state that made me more vulnerable to the cancer being able to grow in my body.  For the next months I did this challenging work. For some reason I lived, and while I would never want to experience cancer again, this unwelcome guest got me to look at myself and my life in ways I needed to see to heal and be stronger.  I live the learned wisdom daily.

Sickness Initiation

In November of this last year (2019) a sickness swooped in on me and wiped me out for days. I had diarrhea and did not eat for 3 days. I lost 8 pounds. I was so out of it that I was having full on visions and downloads. I did not see these messages as “hallucinations” to be discounted. The messages that came through so clearly (because I was cleaned out) were about how to go deeper in my Spirit Work (my vocation) and also places in my personal psyche that were still getting in my way and blocking me from being the best person I could be. I listened to these messages, and they were not angry. They were strong and persistent. It was time for change in new ways. This sickness was my teacher and initiator. The image below, and this link are areas of my work that came directly from the sickness messages.

The reason I am writing you today, and sharing these stories, is because a Sickness Teacher and Initiator has descended upon us all. This tiny “being” that has been coming to me looking like a swarm, or wave (as in Tsunami) has been released, and we watch in slow and fast motion (at the same time) as it flows over the Earth. We are now facing our cracks, our insecurities, our fears. Whether we are untouched physically, are sick, get sick, or even die, we each are now in an initiation. Our experiences are personal and meaningful. We will learn lessons, have hardships and most humans will make it through to the other side, hopefully humble enough to be ready to live the lessons learned.

My greatgrandfather died in the flu epidemic in 1918 and his death affected the lives of my family for three generations….what we experience now will affect many generations to come.

Thinking back on my life so far, Sickness has played a strong role in my evolution…my experience tells me: 

  • There is a difference between a “Battle” and a “War”. It is best to think of this as a Battle, rather than a War. War includes anger, hate, and “other”. We are in a Battle for our health, our communities and our species. The Virus is doing what it does, it is not personal and it is not evil
  • Listen for the messages coming to you
  • Notice what needs to change in your life
  • Acknowledge the soul wounds and traumas that you feel strongly now
  • If/when we get sick, remember to quell the fear that can turn into does not help
  • In meditation or journeys, tune in to the Virus as a Being and notice what it wants
  • Look for the ways to be helpful to those who are having a harder time than you
  • Connect with and empower your Spirit of WellBeing, ask it to help you stay healthy
  • Feed and strengthen your Wellness in your physical body
  • Trust your intuition
  • Those who experience this sickness, are teachers for humans have not
  • Even if we die, it is not punishment…

For all of those who pass into the Spirit World during this initiation, you/we/they become our Great Ancestors.

Let us be the Humans our descendants will be proud of.

You are important in the Sacred Web of Life.

Many blessings.

*I am sharing my own experience. I am not trying to tell anyone their truth.



Deep Sickness as Teacher and Initiator
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