Today is the last day of my younger than 50 self. Tomorrow I move into my 50th year and I begin to learn how to live this life, as a “Baby Elder”. I have called a ceremony for myself, to be witnessed in my community, as I ask my Guides and Ancestors for the strength I need to be as bold as they want me to be in my older years.
I have called a few ceremonies for my Self in my life. When I was 23 I realized there was no cultural ceremony for becoming an adult. Sure, there was turning 21 and I could legally get as drunk as I wanted, but nothing was offered to welcome me into the world of ADULT…so I asked my mother to come to the beach with me for a weekend, and we walked far out onto an ocean jetty so I could scream as loud as I wanted. It might seem strange as a ceremony, but at the time I felt stifled and self conscious, and I was just beginning my adventure into emotional healing, and I needed to SCREAM without people being worried about me, and so I did. I was witnessed by my mother. I did what I needed to do.
The next time I called ceremony was when I was 29 years old. I had my shamanic calling experience a couple years before. I left my hometown of Portland, OR, made my way to Tucson, and had come back to people who cared about me. I realized that this role I was cultivating was one in community, and I needed to acknowledge my calling as OOlah (One Who Balances) in the company of those who were witnessing my evolution. I don’t remember much about the actions of the ceremony, there were drums, didgeridu, people circling me. I felt seen. I did what I needed to do.
Fast forward 20 years and I needed another ceremony- After having surgery for cancer, and right before surgery for a hysterectomy, I needed to honor the parts of me that were going to the Spirit World ahead of me. I needed to witness the transition I was about to abruptly make. I was about to become a post-bleeding woman. I created a ceremony of crawling across a red cloth to the other side. I crawled into a crowd of post menopausal women, many of them never had a ceremony for their own transition. I was witnessed. I felt seen by humans and Spirits. I did what I needed to do.
Now it is time for another ceremony- Wednesday, November 29 6-8pm in Tucson, AZ
November 29th is my 50th Birthday. I am sensing that this is my year to be birthed as a “Baby Elder”. It is time to learn the ways of the Elder. I am transitioning from one phase to another and I need the help of my community.
A bit of Herstory- I am my mother’s first child. I was more than two weeks overdue, but when it was finally time to enter this world, I was too big (over 11 pounds) for my mother to birth me, so I was taken out by C-section. I have felt the energetic remnants of this experience my whole life.
Feeling Stopped. A feeling of “deflation” about what I can do. Feeling confused about how to move forward. I can’t.
In my adult years I have achieved much in spite of, and have overcome many aspects of, this birth block. As I come close to this birthday I sense that I need to enact my birth once more, this time I can bear the pressure of birth and I can do it on my own. My mother will be visiting and present. I also need your help.
My Spirits have revealed what they want from me on my 50th Birth Night. I need a ceremony to clear the feeling of being blocked so I can prepare for my birth into Baby Elderhood in my mind, and in my community. I need to be more bold for what is coming. I need to Come Out in ways I have resisted in the past. I have ceremonial outfits, I have stories, I will have community to witness me.
I am doing what I need to do.
Those who know me and support me are welcome to attend. Message me for address.