On Valentine’s Day 2021, during the Covid Winter (hopefully the only one), I am thinking about all the powerful lessons and teachings that partnership brings. I have learned from this teacher for 21 years,…and it is a very large subject. I hope to share more over time, but for tonight, I feel called to share a document/poem/agreement I wrote during a challenging period with my Lover Jacob. It was time to negotiate a deeper layer of relationship, and so we had a simple Commitment ceremony including the Commitments below.

-We commit to the process of being in partnership with each other.

We commit to being honest with each other.
-We commit to drawing forth fun, ecstasy and tenderness from living our lives together.
-We commit to working as a team to provide what is needed for our pack.
-We commit that we will support each other as we unfold our authentic selves.
-When we disagree we commit to being as kind as possible with the moment.
-We commit to see the best in each other, especially when we forget to do so. 

I share these simple and direct commitments on Valentine’s Day during this challenging time of Covid because being in partnership has taught me most about honest, real self-awareness and support that can grow within a relationship.

The beauty of our time and place is that what we commit to can be up to us.
-How do we commit to all of ourselves, including the embarrassing and the humbling, in the presence of another?
-What happens to us when we commit to honoring our own sovereignty while practicing compromise and negotiation?
-Why do we stay and keep trying, evolving, deepening and growing together, and when/how do we know it is time to let go and stop?

I have asked myself these questions many times throughout my relationship career (which I feel is important, especially for female bodied people) , and my body response answers guide me each time.

I want to write about this subject today because Valentine’s Day has a troubled past and so many people feel challenging feelings about love or lack thereof during this time. Also, I feel there is a lack of conversation around the most intimidating aspects of being so intimate with someone else. The vulnerability. The ability to forgive self and other. The personal and ancestral healing that often needs to be addressed. The ability to adapt and be patient for the good of the union. So much to practice and learn. It is not an easy endeavor.

Being in Relationship has brought me lessons that I could never have learned on my own.

Quyn Red Mountain

Of course it is always important to be true to oneself and being in helpful, supportive and trusted relationship with Self takes practice and consistency. In retrospect I see that the more that I healed my own personal pain and trauma, I learned I was able to expand and deepen my ability to be a good partner to myself, and my loved ones. Over the years, my partners continue to stick by me, and are incredibly supportive of me and my “ways”. For this I am so grateful. I, again and again, say yes to continuing learning from this unique art of relationship.

Many blessings for your relationship with your self and sacred others.

An inside joke :)

Quantum entanglement is a physical phenomenon that occurs when a pair or group of particles is generated, interact, or share spatial proximity in a way such that the quantum state of each particle of the pair or group cannot be described independently of the state of the others, including when the particles are separated by a large distance. Such is relationship.

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